i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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