discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
