Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize