Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
