If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
