even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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