I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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