I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
