You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
