i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
