almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Vodka?
Forever.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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