i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
