I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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