i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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