He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
