what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
