I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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