I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
