I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize