I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
