Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
