If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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