If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that's an acceptable place to lick
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
