Where is the hickey?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
