Dual....:-)
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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