but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
