that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
