He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize