bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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