We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
