were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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