whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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