I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
