So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
