so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
