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dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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