Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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