you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
