Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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