You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
