your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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