Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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