I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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