were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
