Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dignity is for republicans.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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