hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
