are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
