Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
