what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
