Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Holy sore nipples Batman
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
