I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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