what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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