nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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