Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I am available for nakedness
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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