he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
