Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
