We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
