Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
