Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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