Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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