i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
