Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
